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Coping Mechanism

I have been accused of being heartless.  This accusation is due to the fact that I am not one of those people that cry when something ends.  No tears were shed at high school/college graduations, and I certainly was not one of those people who unleashed a fury of saltine droplets during the millions of touch games I had to play during my college career.  I do cry when I see expressions of extreme love or kindness.......but endings.....not so much. 

Endings are an inevitable part of life, and without them there would be no new beginnings.  Think of how life would be if we remained in one place......like high school for example.  I loved high school while I was in it, but would I like to be there now?  No, thanks. 

Even though I think I handle endings pretty well, I am suddenly faced with so many of them all at once.  A couple of days ago I dropped my roommate off at the airport, and upon his return, we will no longer be roommates.  Everyone asked me if I was sad, and my response was always "a little." 

 In a few months I will say goodbye to the job that I love.  I will move out of the apartment that has become my home.  I will pack up all of my belongings and say goodbye to my family and friends and leave Southern California for the foreign land of Connecticut.  Upon processing all of this, I realized that my lack of emotion with regards to change is not heartlessness, its a coping mechanism.  I would rather not change things, if I had the choice.  But as I mentioned before, some change is beyond our ability to stop, so rather than feel anything about it.......I bottle it up and let it sit for a few years.  Then by the time I look back and think "oh, wow....that was a great time of my life," I have already moved on to another great time of life.  It may seem stoic to some, but it works for me.  If I really sat down and got sad about every ending I experienced......I would melt down and become an emotional wreck that requires heavy medication.  So the next time you see one "heartless" dry face amongst a sea of criers, don't be so hasty to judge.  Perhaps they are not void of emotion, maybe they are just coping in the only way that they know how. 

G'Day Mates!

G'Day from Australia!  How ya goin'?

 I've been here for about six days now, and thusfar its been one of the best holidays I've had.  The first five days were spent in Sydney and we are now going into our second day at Cairns.  I must say, Aussie blokes are a spunky sort.  Much easier on the eyes than American guys. 

Tomorrow we are going to put on our bathers and have a dive in the reef!  I can't wait!  I hope I don't chunder on the boat ride out there.  I hear the water can get a bit choppy. 

If you've had the patience to decipher my newly picked up Aussie slang, then good on ya!  If not, no worries, mate! 

Btw...I learned that in Australia, the word "fanny" is slang for vagina.  Gives new meaning to the term "fanny pack"

Cheers!

I Caved

Alright you Fascist, peer-pressuring tyrants.  I finally did it.  I joined the masses and got myself a Facebook account.  I fought it for years, but I figured that since I am going off to grad school in a few months, this might be an even better way to keep in touch.  Are you happy now!?  Please add me if you are so inclined.

The Road Less Traveled

There are certain quotes/sayings/phrases that I have picked up throughout my life and stored away in some corner pocket of my brain.  Every now and then I like to dig deep into that pocket when I am seeking motivation.  One of my favorites is the last few lines of 'The Road not Taken' by Robert Frost.

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

Two weeks ago, I found out that I got into graduate school in New Haven, Connecticut.  Moving far away for graduate school isn't too far off the trodden path.  People do it all the time.  However, for me.......moving clear across the country, to a place unknown, unexplored, and COLD is so out of the norm, that it has blown my comfort zone to smitheries.  I have never lived more than 80 miles from home, and suddenly I find myself making plans to reside more than 2,000 miles away.  I have never been in debt, and suddenly I get a financial aid package from a school where the tuition per year is equitable to a brand new Mercedes Benz. 

I must admit, that for a while, the thought of moving to the East Coast for graduate school scared the living daylights out of me.  I pictured myself standing on the street, freezing cold, with blue lips and only my cup of ramen noodles to keep me warm.  And then I thought....."Do they even sell ramen in Connecticut???  I had better bring my own from California, just to be safe."  But then, the more I thought about it, and the more my friends and family encouraged me, the more I realized that it was going to be ok.  No, it was going to be more than just ok, it was going to be fantastic!  I've always been a big believer that the most growth occurs when you stretch yourself to the furthest reaches of your ability, and from there, push just a little bit harder.  And now, this is my chance.  Now is my time to let go of my safety blanket and allow myself to flourish. 

Two roads are diverging, and I am going to take the one less traveled by.  And I know......it is going to make all the difference.